Review of My Friends by Fredrik Backman

Full of heart and kindness, while exploring the heights and depths of humanity, Fredrik Backman does it again with his newest novel, My Friends.

My Friends by Fredrik Backman is the story of the necessity of friendship, and how it can heal and sustain us through the darkness and horror of life. It is also the story of the resilience of children, even when they carry the weight of the world on their scrawny shoulders.

These themes are portrayed through two parallel story-lines. The first story is told linearly, while the other is told non-linearly, as it is remembered by the teller. The connecting thread through both is a painting of the ocean (though really it is a painting of 3 friends on a pier).

(While I do highly recommend this book, please be advised about the many trigger warnings it contains. See below.)

Story-line 1: Louisa & The Artist & Ted

Louisa functions as our protagonist for the first few chapters of the book. She is a troubled teenager, who has no one left in her world, and has recently aged out of the foster care system. She is also an artist.

Louisa's story starts when she sneaks into a fancy art show, but don't worry, she has no intention of stealing. She just wants to see a painting in person. She happens to have a postcard of it that she has had forever.

Then, she meets The Artist, and also Ted. These two friends (one of whom is dying) take Louisa under their wings, one of them reluctantly, and tell her the story of their childhood, a childhood forever memorialized in a painting of three friends on a pier.

But that is not where Louisa's story ends. As she hears the story of the friends on the pier, she also learns how to trust people, to open up to them, to fight her way out of a potential mugging, and also finds herself the reluctant owner of a very expensive painting. Ultimately, she finds special kinship with the stories of children just like her: lonely and hurting and resilient children who are carrying weight no child should ever have to carry.

Story-line 2: The Friends on the Pier

The friends are memorialized forever in a painting of the sea. Most people see a painting of the sea. Louisa sees a painting of 3 friends. But there were always four. And one of them, Ted, tells us the story of the four friends. These friends grew up with abusive parents, absent parents, dying parents; brothers with toxic friends, fathers with predatory friends, teachers so small they have to crush their students in order to feel big; mentors who can't shake an addiction that will eventually kill them, mothers who keep everything alive, even their violent marriages.

These friends are only fourteen-years-old for a Summer, and that Summer is one of camaraderie, shenanigans, farts, first kisses, and love so fierce it breeds survival. Because no one expects these kids to survive into adulthood, and when adults think like that, children absorb those expectations, even if they are unspoken. But together? Together, four friends make a painting. Together, four friends find inventive ways to survive. They shout "tomorrow!" to one another, and when your friend says "tomorrow!" instead of "goodbye!" you know you will see them the next day.

We all need friends like these. Whether we are children, or adults. While it is a bit cheesy, it is also true that hurt people hurt other people. Without community, many of us would end up dead. We live for one another so we can learn to live for ourselves. The hardest part is figuring out which friends are the right friends; which friends will say "love you, and believe in you." Find them, and never let them go.

Trigger warnings: Child abuse (emotional, mental, physical, sexual); domestic abuse; suicide; depression; anxiety; body dysmorphia; foster care trauma; death.

If you, or someone you know, is in an unsafe situation, please seek help. In Northwest Arkansas, the Women's Shelter has a 24/7 hotline you can call, and they also provide emergency shelter so you do not have to stay in a dangerous situation.

To support the Northwest Arkansas Women's Shelter, you can donate here.